Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Ups & Downs & Back Up Again!!

 A good friend of mine Julie, received a notice that Dr. Khoobehi (her surgeon)  was having an event to talk about the newest type of breast implants "gummy bear" She knew I had mentioned one day, after reaching my goal of "maintaining" for one year, I want to have my boobs fixed so she passed the message along. 

At first, I thought Im not ready to even entertain this idea...It hasn't been a yr of maintaining yet (October 2013)... I don't know if Im ready to spend the money on myself for something like this...Many IDKs ran through my mind...And then I decided whats the harm in going for the consult?? I will then know exactly what I need and how much I need to do it, when I am ready. So, I went! 

I was super excited at this point. I sat and listened, played w boobies and read material on the different types, talked to other women, and waited patiently for my turn to be called back for the consult (I was LAST). I meet with
Dr. Khoobehi in nothing but a robe and my bday suit...and the robe 1 sec into the apt was pretty much on the floor as he lifted, pulled and tugged at all my looooose skin.  Showing me what he could do for me. He showed me pics of what the before/after looks like on other patients of his... Remarkable! Amazing! 

As he started at me, he asked questions.."How did you loose all this weight? Did you go the easy route, bypass/band?" I said, No sir. I did consider that route but after having my two children and deciding I was done with babies. I decided to try it the old fashioned way...Eat Less & Move More and surprisingly, It worked! "He said how much did you loose exactly?"
I said, About 85 lbs" He congratulated me and then said "This looks like so much more than 85 lbs. You have so much loose skin." At this point Im thinking great..This coming from a man that looks at this shit all day?? Uggg :/

He explained that I would need a boob lift and not implants. He also mentioned and showed me how he can fix my arms. He also said he could do a full body lift for my stomach/booty/hips/legs. The pics of his other patients are amazing and at this point I wasn't even thinking about the actual surgery. I was just smiling and so excited that I could actually have all this skin Gone Forever!!! 

I then asked questions, like Which procedure should I do first? and also mentioned I still want to loose another 15-20lbs, Should I wait and have surgery after or does it matter? What if I never do loose that next 15-20 lbs?? 

He responded and asked "Where are you trying to loose 20 lbs from? I said well I noticed every time I eat or gain 1-2 lbs its in my belly and I'd like to work on that more. He pulled and tugged and  showed me that my upper belly is a result of carrying high with my kids and that if you pull on the skin, the stomach you see below if flattened. He pointed out that I have really big deep stretch marks that are really high (nearly up to my boob line, where you bra sits) He said that is skin, and you will not loose that by working out. He said If you loose any more weight it will come from your legs.  That struck me, I was instantly depressed! Here I am kicking ass trying to work on this one area, not really just that one area but that's what I would like to see smaller and the sad thing is you can't choose where you will loose.  

Now don't get me wrong...I would not want to go back to being 260+ lbs AT ALL. I am much happier and healthier living this lifestyle and I will not go back to being the unhealthy person I was for so long. Im hoping that by living this way I can avoid many of the health issues my family has dealt with and raise my children to want to be active and healthy in their own lives.

But with health aside, I know I will never be a swim suit model and Im not trying to be. What Im trying to be is happy and comfortable in my own skin... Just alot less of my own skin!  Ive worked really hard and still do every day. I feel lean. I feel muscular. I feel myself getting stronger. I feel my legs and arms and I know I have muscle there but I will never see it. There is nothing more I can do to fix all this skin without surgery. I will forever have this flab arm, legs, hanging stomach....So depressed about what I did to myself and how I let myself live for way to many years.

So...Next came pricing..
Boob Lift----- $16k
Arms----- $13k
Body Lift----- $24k 
Total  $50k+
...and this is where it really hits..I many never get any of this done... :(

It was one of those sad moments where you realize, all the years of living obese really does irreversible damage.

So after that minor mental set back...

I realized..I really have changed and I don't allow myself to really get "set back" anymore. I am who I am...with or w/o the skin. I will continue to workout everyday and eat better bc this is who I want to live my life as. This is the mom I want for my kids. So with that being said..I still hit it hard everyday and stuck to my workout routine...See below. 

This Week:
6/17 Mon: Gym-> Chest & Tri's
 ...You can SEE my triceps muscle I FEEL if you squint and tilt your head..lol
6/18 Tues: Gym-> Spin Class:1 hr
6/19Wed: Gym-> Bk & Bi's
6/20 Thurs: Gym-> Spin Class:1 hr
6/21 Friday: Gym->Leg Day

6/22 Saturday: Danced till the sun came up for Stephs Birthday!! :D
6/23 Sunday: Lazy Day Off

This past week I choose to do the spin class for cardio on Tues & Thurs. I love Brooke who teaches the class. She really pushes you and I feel like I can't breathe and Im having a mild heart attack trying to catch breath the entire class, Its awesome..lol...So on that note, Ive decided to make that my Tues/Thurs routine. This week I will continue to weight train on M/W/F and on Tues/Thurs I will do her spin class. 

I also have been wanting to get to the track at night for some 2/day action but by the time I get home my laziness kicks in and it hasn't happened.  I will work on making that happen this week.

Im excited about this coming weekend...I wanted to plan a mother/daughter one night trip to the gulf coast.  Just for some girl fun but my mom thought I was a weirdo. So we decided to go her, me and the kids. I wanted to take my kids to see the Bello Nock show at the Beau Rivage. I looked him up last time he was there but we couldn't make the show. So I knew I wanted to make sure to take them to see it this summer. We will head there early on Sunday and spend the day at the beach and pool. Then we will wash up and go see the show Sunday night. Monday I took the day off work. So we can take our time and get home whenever. I may talk my mom into it and we can hit up the Gulf Island Water park on the way home. Ive been wanting to get season passes for the kids, and myself :D


  1. First of all you look AMAZING!! I completely understand we only see what's outside the clothes but just know that everyone who sees you sees nothing but a beautiful, healthy woman who takes care of her body and loves herself. I'm so proud of you!! You are such a huge motivation, especially for me!!
    - Amanda

  2. Awwwwww....Amanda, You really did make me tear up!!! That was heartfelt and so very sweet! Thank you very much!!!! :*D

  3. skin or no skin! i love me some nicole! you are such an inspiration! can't nobody hold you down!!! =) xoxo